The Animal Kingdom

Last night, my partner saw a snake in his basement office.

His comforting words included, “Maybe they’ll eat the mice!” (I just discovered the droppings Sunday) and “I think I saw a black widow, too!”

Meanwhile, our darling but possibly dimwitted dog spends his hunting hours attacking the FLIES.

We need a cat.

And a hotel room.

And did I mention: ACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Evolutionary Leftovers

I was just skimming the article “What Evolution Left Behind on Humans,” all about the appendix and the tailbone and other features that we once used but now don’t, and found these interesting notes that working women might find useful:

• Male Nipples
  • Lactiferous ducts (the lobes of the mammary gland at the tip of the nipple) form well before the the testosterone is released that causes a fetus to be a male. Also, men have mammary tissue that can be stimulated to produce milk.

Hold on… men can NURSE? First of all, I want to know if they ever did - no mention of how these were ever useful in this article. But heck, who cares if they did in the past or not - let’s get them going now! Let’s get men bonding with the babies and sharing some of the responsibility and pleasure of that intimacy - why not? Can you imagine how that would revolutionize our entire society? I’ve read about African tribes where the men let the babies dry-suckle on what my husband has gotten our daughter to call their “man-boobs,” but I didn’t know they could be PRODUCTIVE. Let’s get this going!!!!

Body Hair

• • Most of your body hair serves no function (though some think otherwise). Eyebrows keep sweat from going into your eyes, and male facial hair may play a role in sexual selection. Armpit and pubic hair help deal with moisture but beyond that it does us no good. Your arm and leg hair are just the remains of a once fully covered body of hair.

  If you’ve ever felt guilty for not just being natural and letting your leg hair grow (me), then this piece of info can assuage that guilt! It’s not necessary! It’s an heirloom! Get that laser surgery done - take it all off!

Pregnant in the Office

Yesterday I found out one of the women in my office is also pregnant and due five days before me. This is great, except that:a) She is super skinny, and this is her first, so while I already look like a balloon, her “bump” is barely visible

b) She has super great clothes, and will now have super great maternity clothes, and I will not be able to get away with looking crappy without being in stark contrast to her.

These are perhaps superficial contrasts, but come on, everyone’s going to see the two of us and make judgments, and I’m going to feel ridiculously fat, old, and ugly next to her. Boo hoo. Yes, I’m feeling sorry for myself.

3) Working and being pregnant and a mother is - surprise! - A LOT of work. All I want to do is sleep, eat, puke, and cry.

I am looking forward to Mom’s Night Out, March 2008! Yay!

Fallen Soldier

This is the second story I’ve heard about the government obstructing justice for murdered soldiers. This one is a young woman. It is so sad. Please take a moment to read and even send a message to your local representative about the issue.

It could be our daughter, our son.

Our Sidewalks

I just saw a Book of Joe post asking ‘how walkable is your neighborhood?’ - apparently there’s a website where you can get this calculated - and I was reminded of my earlier fury.

Dominion VA Power inserted new power line poles up and down our dead-end street and then disappeared, leaving masses of hard, rocky, dirt around each pole that are so large they cover the entire sidewalk. This means that if you’re pushing a stroller, riding a wheelchair, or just walking, you can’t walk on the sidewalk. You have to go off into the road or try to brave the little hill - which my daughter did last night, consequently falling down.

I’ve complained with the city, and sent an email to the power company, but I’m totally incensed that this situation ever happened in the first place. I mean, not only is it bad for us walking on the street - but don’t they want to cover their own butts and avoid being sued when someone falls or gets hit when having to step into the road? Grrrr.

Help Your Career - Post to this Blog

Okay, maybe not this one, but according to an article I just read, branding yourself online is the way to go with finding a job, which includes the following:

• Review books at amazon.com and barnesandnoble.com that are relevant to your area of expertise.
• Submit articles to article banks and web portals that relate to your functional area/passion.
• Claim your profile or start one at ziggs.com, zoominfo.com and ziki.com. They are free.
• Post comments to blogs that are relevant to how you want to me know.
• Of course, for most people, having a blog is the ideal way.

I don’t know about you, but this sounds like a lot of BORING work - sometimes I just want to read something without having to comment or review it, you know? Just the reading part takes a lot of time.

Still, notice what I’m doing right now…

Dolls, the Dilemma

The issue of dolls is one that is just beginning to crest its presence into my life.

Because I want to raise a child who thinks of herself first as a person, not as a girl, I’m very conscious of giving her a range of options for toys and activities and clothing, not just the pink ones.

Still, because I’m a girl, and a fairly girly-girl at that, unless I change myself, I realize I’m not going to do anything to dissuade my daughter from emulating me by wanting nail polish on her toes, walking in my high heels, carrying a purse, brushing my hair, and yes, pushing a stroller with a doll in it, the way I do with her.

Here’s some random, incomplete thoughts:

1) The Barbie vs. Bratz debate continues - and I find myself definitely on the Barbie side, though I have no intention of ever getting J. one (now). I grew up with tons of Barbies, involving them in elaborate, melodramatic story lines fit for daytime soaps. One could argue that the fact I am girly is due to this Barbie exposure, but one could also go stick a plastic doll pump up one’s nose (ha ha). But seriously, I’m glad Dora exists, and the other female kid cartoons, because I want there to be non-sexy models for my not-even- two year old!

2) I was thrilled to see a recent post on PNOC by a woman getting her son a babydoll. Now, if only every boy would get a dollhouse, too. How we raise our sons is just as important as how we raise our daughters, because if we have a bunch of aware, liberated girls running around and a bunch of caveman boys, we’re going to have a lot of very angry people (already do!).

The dollhouse thing came to mind recently when someone said to a boy, “There’s J’s dollhouse, she has one because she’s a girl.” I cringed. What does J do in the dollhouse? she cleans it, she puts people to sleep, she washes the babies in the tiny bathtub… All domestic chores that she’s learning are fun - well, shouldn’t boys learn these are THEIR duties, and learn how to do them, so that when they marry later it’s instinctive behavior? Then we wouldn’t have these debates about what it means to be a wife, and whether wives need wives…

3) I got to pick out my first babydoll when I was little, and the one I selected happened to be “black” - I thought she was the prettiest. What do we do about providing our children with dolls of color?

4) I think I assumed I would never buy my daughter a babydoll at all, because I didn’t want her to grow up to believe that being a woman-person was only possible or made valid by procreation. But, since I’m having a baby soon, and I want J. to get used to the idea, and I’ve read books about it, I did buy her one. And it seems like every other little girl her age has one. And I guess, to a certain extent, there’s no getting around the fact that I’m a mother, and if my daughter wants to be like me, she’s going to want to be a mother, too.

5) But lord, what’s up with this thing about girls really do like pink??

I’d love to hear thoughts on this!

Not Easy Being Green

As a working mother who cares about the environment, I’m constantly going crazy trying to balance out using/purchasing Products That Save Time/Money vs. Products That Save the Planet.

Products That Save Time/Money give me more of these two precious commodities to spend on and with my child, increasing the quality of our lives. Products That Save the Planet reinforce my values, make me feel better about my personal integrity, possibly reduce the number of poisons to which our family is exposed, and hopefully do a little something to make the world liveable for a little while longer.

Clearly, not always an easy choice. The second might be preferable in the abstract - but the first provides immediate, concrete results. It’s a crazy-making, almost constant dilemma.

Here are some of the products at the crux of my inner debate:

Plastic bags for dog poop: I can order biodegradable poop-scoopers online. I know this, and it makes me cringe, because the time, money, and sheer effort of ordering and organizing this endeavor seems a lot for … dog poop.

Plastic bags for shopping: I have now three or four reusable bags for groceries. I keep forgetting to bring them with me shopping. I end up getting my goods in plastic bags… yes, you guessed it: So I have something to pick up the dog poop.

Water bottles: The recent info that the plastic water bottle I use to ensure that I drink my 64 ounces of water a day is leaking cancer-causing crap completely undid me. I had been so proud of myself for procuring and using the darn thing, only to find this (see the issue discussed). I am planning on purchasing some steel water bottles to replace it. I have not gotten around to doing so.

Diapers: We actually used a cloth diaper service for a year and a half, stopping when we started full-time daycare, which doesn’t accept cloth. Still, I feel guilty sometimes about this choice.

Plastic baggies: I know there are reusable sandwich wraps out there. I just haven’t gotten them yet. Ziploc is so darn easy.

Makeup/Personal products: When I can, I purchase makeup and shampoo and the like at Whole Foods or Rebecca’s, getting the Burts Bees or Whole Foods generic brand. I also like The Body Shop, which doesn’t test on animals and donates to good causes. But I do also give in to buying the cheap crap at CVS, because I like lots of lipsticks and nail polishes, and the shampoo is cheaper there. I have also been using generic baby shampoo. This is kind of cool, because I hate Johnson and Johnson. But who knows what the heck is in it? Nothing sustainable, I’m sure.

Clothing: I shop a lot at Goodwill and Salvation Army - and this is how I justify buying a lot of clothes - I’m buying used goods. I can’t afford locally made, organic, fair-trade clothing, spending over $100 on a shirt. I just can’t.

Local vs. National vs. Online Shopping: I don’t shop at Walmart, but I do shop at Target and Kmart. I shop at Kroger (though maybe not for long) and Toys R Us. I also shop online a lot. Local toy stores, shoe stores, clothing stores, and food stores, are just so damn expensive.

Diamonds: Thank god I don’t have any, so no blood on my hands there.  Poverty can be green, sometimes!

Packaged, commercial foods: In the cupboard, I have individual bags of goldfish, raisins, breakfast bars, crackers. In the fridge I have organically grown pears, apples, and grapes. We eat vegetarian, and most of our protein comes from packaged goods. So, I’d love it if everything were fresh and local, but I also have little time to cook and prepare lunches, and not the budget to do a CSA (expensive!) or buy all organic/local…

Recycling: We do recycle, everything we can.

Composting: My one attempt at this created a mound of stinking dirt through which the dog dug to find carrots. I will try again someday.

Growing our own food: I am proud to say I have a still-living basil and rosemary plant. It’s a slow process.

Cleaning products: I have, believe it or not, used a lot of natural products for cleaning in the house. These do not always work and are not always at the stores I frequent, however.

I recommend getting the daily green tip from Ideal Bite to keep you full of ideas and inspiration for becoming a little more aware of what you use and buy.

Okay, so our carbon footprint is still pretty big. Somedays I feel inspired to reduce and reuse even more. Other days I think, screw it! I don’t have the mental space to worry about all of this!

What about you? 

Yes, I watched it.

I couldn’t make my eyes move away. So yes, I saw just about the entire High School Musical 2.

I’m thinking I’m going to blame the fact that I just about never watch television anymore. I’ve lost all ability to discern quality from crap. It made me cringe, but I enjoyed it.

And I also concluded that my daughter will NEVER have access to the Disney Channel.

Annoyed at the Radio

One of my very guilty pleasures is listening to Kidd Kraddick in the Morning every day, instead of NPR like my husband would prefer (apparently showbiz gossip is not as serious as political gossip, though I think the propaganda elements in each are probably about equal). But I like it - it’s funny, it’s light, and since I’m not a morning person by any stretch, it helps. So there.

Since the show originates in Dallas, is family-friendly and aimed at Middle America, usually the bias of the show is fairly traditional - though I’m sometimes pleasantly surprised by some questions and ideas that go against mainstream thinking.  But I know for the most part that I’m not going to find my extremely liberal, intellectual leanings reflected by this show (or by NPR, for that matter).

Still, when one of the show hosts had a baby and chose not to breastfeed, I was horrified by the attitudes expressed by her and the other people on the show. Yes, I know the La Leche League has a reputation for being breast-nazis, and I’ve heard of instances where their ‘encouragement’ has turned into downright brutal lambasting of new, shaky moms trying and failing to nurse. But I could not believe that the proven benefits of nursing over bottle-feeding were completely ignored, and that mothers who breastfeed were treated to verbal derision as being wierdo hippies.

My rationalization for listening to this show has often been that it keeps me informed about what the ‘general public’ is thinking -  is this anti-breastfeeding bias an accurate mirror to the rest of our culture?

It’s not that I’m judging anyone who doesn’t - it’s that I’m shocked by the casual treatment of the issue, as if nursing is on par with getting a face-lift, completely elective, and rare.

I’m probably just feeling jealous, because I’m still trying to wean my almost-two year old, and I’m getting really tired of being Mama Milk Jug.