Happy Merry Cheer and Castration Proposal

The Real Story of Christmas

My husband asked me last night, what if the real story is just the very simple, human birth story? What if all babies are miraculous and special?

Certainly, the new baby being born in winter, all the lights and greenery we bring into our homes during darkness and leafless trees, all of it is about how we can find and create warmth and hope and love even in the darkest and coldest of times. Life goes on, even when it seems it will not. This is the lesson of nature, of our seasons, of our bodies, of our souls.

Meanwhile, I am super pregnant and wondering how the heck I’m going to make it to February. THAT will be the miracle for me.

I’ve been a fan of Barbara E since her piece about her personal experience as a Merry Maid. But when she dissed my enthusiasm at a book signing, I was annoyed. Now, I’ve decided to let go of my affrontedness and enjoy this take on the whole Princess Cult for little girls that’s trying so hard to take over my daughter’s imagination…

Which is something I’ve been really thinking hard about the past few days. Recently, J’s reinventing of drums into birthday cakes and of herself into a swimming mermaid and bells into candles has made me think that some of my exuberant purchases for her Christmas gifts are completely unnecessary. She doesn’t need play food – she can take a shoe and turn it into a rocket ship! What was I thinking?

Reverse Sacrifice
This story about a 7-year-old girl who jumped in front of an ex-boyfriend firing gunshots at her mother (took several bullets, lost an eye, saved her mother) is enough to make me believe strongly in two things:

1) Despite all our evils, the human capacity for love is amazing and should never ever be poo-pooed

2) We need to start lopping off balls.

Seriously, folks. I am sick of our testosterone-induced nightmare of domestic violence, rape, murder, war, and other egotistical antler-bashings that dominate the headlines and our personal lives because the men in our society don’t know what to do with their hormones. I’m done. Just done.

I know – there’s a few good guys out there we should keep around for studs. Okay, fine. But the rest? Sorry. You’ll be much kindler and gentler castrated. Make the world truly a better place. Pony up.

The Nice Guys on the Side of the Road

The other day, I thought my car was jumpy and rumbly because I hadn’t let it warm up enough. Turned out, as the construction workers on the side of the road told me after they flagged me over, I had a flat tire. They insisted on changing it for me, right then and there. It was cold and they were spunky. I am thinking they are definitely candidates to keep their balls in my new world order.

To all of you who read this, and especially those who take the time to comment, I hope you have a lovely holiday time, whatever it means to you, however you celebrate it. Your engagement on this blog means a lot to me – gifts you’ve given throughout the year. Thank you.

Peace Out.


2 Responses to Happy Merry Cheer and Castration Proposal

  1. Silvia says:

    Funny! I had a similar “nice guys on the side of the road” incident myself. I was driving through the tiny town of Earlysville, just by the animal hospital, and my tire went flat. I pulled over, and by the time I was getting out to see what happened, two guys in a pickup who’d been going the opposite direction had turned around and pulled up behind me to help change my tire. Actually, they did it all, I didn’t help, except to run across the street to get the water offered by the nice lady who has the perpetual yard sales. 😉 So I guess those two get to keep theirs, too. But the big question is, when do we decide who keeps them and who loses them? At what age can you tell if they deserve them? LOL

  2. dan dright says:

    While we’re at it, I think we ought to look at hysterectomies for a large part of the population as well. This whole business of PMS upsetting the emotional apple carts of so many women and the people around them is something that could easily be addressed via a little stirrup-snip-snip!

    Not to mention post-partum depression, psychosis, perimenopausal psychosis, and a host of other problems.

    Let’s get started! Drop yer drawers and spread ’em ladies and gentlemen!



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: