You know the phrase “warts and all,” as in, “She loves me, warts and all!”
Well, I think it’s time to change it to “farts and all.”
Why? I’ve done a lot of thinking on this this morning (so much for my meditation session), and there’s a couple reasons.
1) In these days of laser dermatology, warts can be removed, so it really doesn’t matter if someone loves you, but not your warts – you can solve the problem and get them removed.
2) Farts are much worse than warts. You can fall in love with someone, date them for a year, get married, and THEN discover that your beloved farts all night long and isn’t adverse to giving you the dutch oven experience at random points throughout the night. Warts you can see right off the bat; farts can be held in or released in other rooms. Warts are ostentatiously offensive; farts insidiously so.
3) “Fart” is just a worse word than “wart.” To me.
The only way in which “warts and all” is a more powerful a mark of love is if the warts being referred to are genital in nature. Maybe that’s what the phrase has referred to all along. If so, this was a completely pointless post.
You might think it is either way!