I think I’ve read various op-eds over time encouraging women to proudly lay claim to the work and worth of the role of “mother.”

But not until the other day did I fully and personally experience the emotion that’s at the base of why those articles get written: There’s an emotion of guilt and shame attached to motherhood swimming around in our culture that I’ve recently picked up on – something connected to

1) the idea that women who want to have babies are biologically driven, and therefore weak, somehow not in control of their body urges = the urge to procreate is a base, shameful ‘urge’ – kind of silly and superficial –

2) having children is selfish (self-indulgent; are your genes so great? earth impact – population control)

3) not having children is also selfish (instead of giving your mother grandchildren, you’re concentrating on yourself)

4) being a mother verifies a woman’s feminity in some ways – but it also puts her in a strange category, defined often in commercials and tv shows – she has definitely taken herself out of the running to be a hottie – to be a desired object – I’m trying to put my finger on it – there’s an ambivalence around motherhood, it’s desired for women to fulfill themselves, but it’s also marks you, removes you from being competitive in the world of sex and business fully –

Not so sure, could research this more fully, am just interested that now having TWO children, I feel much more defined by them than I did just having one.


2 Responses to “Mother”

  1. Amanda says:

    I’m pretty sure the drug-like high I get when looking at the baby is biologically-based- to keep the species going w/ Mom’s fiercely protective of those little defenseless babies. Although even if it IS just biologial thing, I like it. I’m happy gazing at my beautiful baby and if it’s a crime to live a live where you are happy…well I would still want to have more.

  2. I find that others define me by my having a child but I never been ably to fully or even partially define myself that way. It is just one aspect of me and will ultimately not be the final definition.

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