The Woes of Finding a Job

It’s getting ridiculous.

How many resumes have I sent?

How many interviews have I been on?

I’m not sure I can even tabulate.

I feel like I should somehow be exploiting this miserable process – a reality show?

A sponsorship? Kind of like one of those fundraising walks – you know, five bucks for every resume I submit, ten for every cover letter, and fifteen for every phone interview… Maybe it won’t help cancer, but it will keep me funded for all the coffee drinks I seem to need to fuel me through this ego-busting experience…

The problem is, when it’s been going on this long, finding a job starts to feel like a job, and you don’t really want to actually get one. Well, of course you want to get one, but part of you feels like you’re maybe getting used to the panty hose and the questions about your greatest weaknesses.

I think that even tripped me up a little on my latest interview.

The question came – What would your current employer say is your biggest weakness?

To which I used to kind of say something vague like “Oh, that I work too hard, that I’m a perfectionist.” I actually am a perfectionist, but I don’t know that any of my supervisors would complain about that. I don’t really know what they would complain about, and that question is so darn tricky. Who wants to talk about weaknesses to a possible employer?

I’ve been doing this so much, I actually was bubbly and enthusiastic about my faults, and I think it did me in.

The main hindrances to me finding work include –

  • the economy
  • my main job skills are extremely niche – web writing and strategy positions do not abound
  • the jobs that do exist in my general area of expertise tend to not pay enough to make it worth it
  • I’m overqualified for the jobs that are available – people are reluctant to hire me to be an admin assistant because they probably worry I’ll leave as soon as something better comes along, or won’t be happy enough to be productive
  • I’m pretty sure there’s a voodoo doll with my name on it somewhere

Okay, maybe not the last one, though sometimes it feels like there are forces at work that have nothing to do with the quality of my cover letter or the abundance of my experience. People have friends. Personalities have preferences.

I haven’t had the worst of it. If I’ve sent out fifty resumes, I have heard of professionals having sent out a hundred. If I’ve been looking for three months, I’ve heard of people unemployed for over a year.

To all you out there hitting the pavement – good luck and keep your teeth clean.

To all of you with jobs you hate – be grateful – at least you do not have to talk about your weaknesses to total strangers while sweating in your possibly running pantyhose while your bank account bleeds…


One Response to The Woes of Finding a Job

  1. Tim Trotter says:

    I’ve been writing comedy for stand-up off and on for 10 years, but my memory isn’t good. If you are fairly funny and/or have a good memory, we could see if a collaboration might work. Or know of somebody who has a theater streak. Yeah, It’s speculative….pick any of the 13 starbucks to meet at.

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